imissmymind
Real name:
Member Since: 01/17/2005
Last Login: 06/07/2018
Skin: Revival

Back in the FFLog days, I wrote by the name of gclp_girl.

I've been writing in this fandom forever, and I've been losing interest in the band for a while. I don't write necessarily as if they're the actual band members, but characters. My reviewers have kept me writing.

Find Me
Livejournal: ximissmymindx
Fandomination: imissmymind
Myspace: Ask Me

I love all of my lovely reviewers.

I think I'm wrapping up my time here on the site. I know I have said it before, but this time I really feel like it is time to move on. I'm going on a hiatus, permanent or not, but as of now I don't have much of any motivation on my other stories.

I may still post occasionally, I don't know, probably mostly standalones. But they won't be constant.

I'd just like to thank all of my reviewers, especially ones who have stuck by me through all my stories, good or not. You guys are amazing and the reason I have gotten this far.


Personal favorites:

Caged
Reality
The Dive
Ties
Twin
Vacant
Wasted



  • Convicted of murder, Benji pleads his innocence. In the eyes of the state, the jury, and even his own twin, however, he deserves twenty-five to life. How does Joel react when his brother's innocence is proven and he's forced to face the fact that he was horribly wrong?

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 59
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 8158
    Read Count: 2379
    Chapters: 6
    📘 🚩
    Published: 10/09/2006 - Updated:06/09/2007
  • It was never my plan to take the plunge, though I don’t think any addict makes the decision consciously. It’s a step-by-step program, much like recovery, though everyone knows it’s easier to get into it than out. Everyone knows that once you climb up the ladder, isolated and afraid on the diving board, it’s so much more difficult to get back down. The ground seems miles beneath you and the fear pounds away at your insides, threatening to break you into a million pieces if you trip.

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Abuse, Drug Use
    Series: None
    Reviews: 5
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 2132
    Read Count: 165
    Chapters: 1
    📘 🚩
    Published: 04/21/2007 - Updated:04/21/2007
  • At age seven, Joel is abducted, taken away from his home forever. At age seventeen, he’s on top of the world, a popular jock who gets everything he wants, courtesy of his rich parents. But he isn’t happy. What happens when the past he’s denied existing comes back to smash his perfect life into pieces? And when he finds the twin that he had convinced himself was just a figment of his imagination, can he deal? Or will the horrible impairment Benji faces prove too much for him to handle?

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 131
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 14140
    Read Count: 3674
    Chapters: 11
    📘 🚩
    Published: 08/14/2005 - Updated:01/18/2007
  • Benji watched as his brother’s star rose. He watched from the ground; the sky was an unforeseeable fame, its limits seemingly endless. In his heart he knew that he could go so far, be so high, but he never really got too far off the ground. He sputtered and faded. Joel didn’t.

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Drug Use
    Series: None
    Reviews: 14
    Completed: No
    Word count: 2770
    Read Count: 526
    Chapters: 3
    📘 🚩
    Published: 08/17/2006 - Updated:12/26/2006
  • Three months after Joel died in a tragic car accident, Benji is dragged along to a Halloween party with his friends. There, he notices a figure from a distance. A figure that intrigues him to no explanation… a figure for which there is no explanation. His brother.

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Drama, Horror
    Story Type: Alternate Universe
    Warnings: Death
    Series: None
    Reviews: 11
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 2653
    Read Count: 186
    Chapters: 1
    📘 🚩
    Published: 10/30/2006 - Updated:10/31/2006
  • The mail had been stacking up for days, almost as if the apartment was vacant. And in a way, it was. The only occupant was curled up on the couch, a pile of Kleenex on the floor below him. Several empty cans of alcohol littered the floor and bags of crackers and chips were scattered about. He hadn't cooked in such a long time the pots and pans had long ago collected dust and the empty bottles of vodka had found a place on top of the stove. That's all there was anymore. Alcohol. And an apathy that was in fact to the contrary. The reason he was so irresponsive and cold was that he did care. So much.

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 23
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 5570
    Read Count: 417
    Chapters: 3
    📘 🚩
    Published: 08/10/2006 - Updated:10/01/2006
  • Following a tragic accident, twenty-one year old Joel is left broken. Severe brain damage and his mental capacity at that of a seven-year-oldís, his life and being has been turned upside down without him even knowing it. Everyone around him is well aware, however, especially his brother and caretaker Benji. In a world of discrimination and uncaring, Benji is left to care for and protect his twin against a harsh world where the ďidealĒ is to lock him in an institution. At the first sign of struggle, Joel can and will be taken away from him. His boundaries are blurred, the world around him just waiting to break him down. Can he get to the marker where Joel could get a chance at healing, or will the insensitivity of those around him break him before?

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Violence
    Series: None
    Reviews: 41
    Completed: No
    Word count: 5565
    Read Count: 814
    Chapters: 4
    📘 🚩
    Published: 12/10/2005 - Updated:09/27/2006
  • So this is it. A cocktail of strong pills sits in my hand, still and ready. I stand shaking in the harsh light of the bathroom, running my thumb over the collection. I watch in a sort of awe as they tumble amongst themselves. Blue, white, red, yellow… like a kaleidoscope of all my worst intentions.

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 4
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 2397
    Read Count: 181
    Chapters: 1
    📘 🚩
    Published: 09/04/2006 - Updated:09/05/2006
  • It's a memorial, not a gravestone... he tells himself that. Its home is tucked in a corner, behind the tombstones, ones with actual bodies beneath them. The corner is place for those whose body can't be placed. Some are slabs for the cremated, others a slab for the missing... the unfound dead. And the lost.

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 4
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 1715
    Read Count: 251
    Chapters: 1
    📘 🚩
    Published: 08/14/2006 - Updated:08/14/2006
  • The stupidest thing I've ever done? Most people can answer in a sentence or two. "I broke up with my girlfriend." Or, "I fell down the stairs in front of my crush." Stupid. But not horrible. You can get back with your girlfriend. You can laugh off a fall. But you can't laugh off killing yourself. You can't just forget about suicide.

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Suicide
    Series: None
    Reviews: 6
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 1596
    Read Count: 154
    Chapters: 1
    📘 🚩
    Published: 08/04/2006 - Updated:08/04/2006
  • Standalone. Heís gone, IĎve convinced myself of it. But now heís right before my eyes and I canít tell myself some tragic accident took him away from me any longerÖ because it wasnít an accident. It was his own will.

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 3
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 1914
    Read Count: 157
    Chapters: 1
    📘 🚩
    Published: 11/16/2005 - Updated:11/16/2005
  • Benji is a runaway. Though he tries, he can't force himself to severe the last ties of his old life. But when he gets a glimpse into pain and hurt he has left behind, via the internet, can he still stay at bay? Or will what occurs end his ability to stay in the shadows?

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama, Suspense
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 158
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 21979
    Read Count: 3320
    Chapters: 15
    📘 🚩
    Published: 04/29/2005 - Updated:11/16/2005
  • You're hurting. I can see it in your eyes. And you know what? It scares me. It scares me that you arenít as strong as you used to be. That you arenít strong in the least bit. It scares me that something was able to rip you to shreds like this, that something could hurt you. Standalone songfic to "Count on Me" by Default.

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Suicide, Self-Harm
    Series: None
    Reviews: 10
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 2317
    Read Count: 196
    Chapters: 1
    📘 🚩
    Published: 09/26/2005 - Updated:09/26/2005
  • KillingsÖ notes left behind. Notes that single out the one band member that singled himself out the most. Months after a platinum solo record and the months of angered silence, the band agrees to spend a week together trying to patch things up. After checking in to a high luxury hotel in what seems like paradise, people start dying and notes are left behind. The notes single out one band member in the top slot of the killing list, the only slot. Can the guys band together and make it out alive or will they crumble and lose each other, and the one that they lost in the first place?

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama, Horror, Suspense
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Violence
    Series: None
    Reviews: 77
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 14055
    Read Count: 1592
    Chapters: 10
    📘 🚩
    Published: 06/06/2005 - Updated:09/18/2005
  • To Joel, Benji has disappeared into thin air, immune and gone from everything. To Benji, itís a much different caseÖ one much too real that could threaten his life and well-being forever.

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Abuse, Violence
    Series: None
    Reviews: 161
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 24690
    Read Count: 3699
    Chapters: 18
    📘 🚩
    Published: 03/28/2005 - Updated:07/31/2005
  • Iím sorry I came to find you, that, though you said I didnít, I cared enough to come find you in the storm. Iím sorry I took your car to search for you in, sorry itís the one in which theyíll find my dead body. Iím sorry I never got to say goodbye, sorry I canít make you hold me as my tears add to the death poolÖ as I die.

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 25
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 6643
    Read Count: 996
    Chapters: 4
    📘 🚩
    Published: 02/18/2005 - Updated:06/20/2005
  • Repost When Joel makes the baseball team, his priorities shift from the band to the team. Can the band deal with the changes, or will they crumble and fall apart? *Revised*

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 18
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 9176
    Read Count: 836
    Chapters: 6
    📘 🚩
    Published: 01/17/2005 - Updated:06/10/2005
  • Following their father's leaving, Joel falls into a dangerous cycle of drugs, alcohol and violence, all the while hanging with a gang that's known for chaos. Can Benji help his brother, or does he just not care anymore? And even if he does, will he have to sacrifice his life for his twin?

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama, Suspense
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Violence
    Series: None
    Reviews: 111
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 28454
    Read Count: 5363
    Chapters: 21
    📘 🚩
    Published: 01/23/2005 - Updated:04/24/2005
  • Partial Repost Following a tragic car accident, Joel is forced to make a life or death decision, having to choose between his own twin or his little sister.

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Drama, Suspense
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 99
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 22803
    Read Count: 3716
    Chapters: 15
    📘 🚩
    Published: 01/17/2005 - Updated:03/15/2005
  • Repost Joel's life is shaken when his twin brother mysteriously disappears on Halloween. After five years, can Joel return to the place his twin went missing? And if he can, will he find something he never could have imagined?

    Categories: Person Centric
    Characters: Benji, Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama, Horror, Suspense
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 29
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 13544
    Read Count: 1198
    Chapters: 8
    📘 🚩
    Published: 01/17/2005 - Updated:02/08/2005
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