Written by xxIlOvEbIlLyxx

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I Spent So Many Years Learning How To Survive, Now Iím Writing Just To Let You Know Iím Still Alive

We are so sorry for the long wait, but we’re on vacation right now (in CA) and we gotta enjoy this a bit. We don’t come here everyday, because we live in Germany. SO… in this chapter you MIGHT wonder (you sure as hell will) why Paul’s acting so strange… again. Don’t be scared of him, you’ll get the answer to his weird behavior in one of the last chapters – so read on ;p!

Chapter 4 – I Spent So Many Years Learning How To Survive, Now I’m Writing Just To Let You Know I’m Still Alive

It was a wonderful evening until now. Really great, not even boring or anything, no way. Okay, to be honest: this was one of the most boring evenings I had spent in my whole life. The only reason which made me stay at Paul’s “party” was my recently found dream girl, Ashlee, who was lying next to me on the floor in the two-men-sleeping bag belonging usually to Paul.

A couple of days ago he had that GREAT conversation with his flirts that he still tried to impress, which was senseless anyway, because they were a couple. I didn’t understand why he didn’t get the point. Anyway, they had this GREAT conversation which was probably about more or less exciting DVD nights. The only thing I had gotten had been that Joel was really interested in those Disney movies and that Benji had glanced at him with furrowed eyebrows.

So, now Paul, Joel, Ashlee, Benji and I were lying on the living room carpet, snuggled up in sleeping bags, watching some stupid DVDs. I had been falling asleep at least three times, but because of Joel’s overrated loud squealing (“Oh, I bet they’re kissing the next moment. I’m already so excited!”) I had woken up again every now and then, unfortunately. Just like now.

“Duh, I hate these hunters! Why did they have to kill Bambi’s mom? Gee, these movies are kickin’ ass, Benji. I never thought I’d actually like them.” Joel snacked on one of the double chocolate muffins, which didn’t really taste like double chocolate. Out of boredom, I had found out that they tasted like cheese. At first I had been surprised, but then I had realized that Paul had cooked them.

“That’s exactly what I question myself,” Benji muttered rather sarcastic, visibly forcing his eyelids open while shoving Frosted Mini-Wheats mechanically in his mouth.

Wow, there had somebody as much fun as me. I sighed and nuzzled my head into my pillow. Ashlee was already asleep next to me. Jealousy. I wanted to be the one who was sleeping and dreaming of finally kissing my baby once again, but because of Joel and Paul talking it was impossible. The two were the only ones who were fully there with their minds. Benji seemed pretty self-distracted and I… well, I was just about to close my eyes until the next day.

For a few minutes it was almost quiet as a mouse. The only sound I could hear was Benji chewing on his dry Wheat shit and talking to Joel about whatever. I was wondering where Paul had gone to. Maybe he had fallen asleep, or maybe he was in the bathroom. Nah, he couldn’t have spent fifteen minutes on the toilet.

Just in the moment I had blocked out Paul in my thoughts I heard an earpiercing applause from Joel. God, I thought that stupid movie was finally over!

“Paul, Paul! Woooohooo, yeah that’s amazing!” Joel shouted. I hadn’t known yet that there was a character in Bambi who was called Paul.

“Joel, turn off the TV. We have seen this film already.” I growled and turned to the other side, facing Benji with my eyes tightly closed.

I heard Benji shifting next to me, mumbling something inaudible. Where the fuck had this sudden anxiety come from? I had to see what was going on here, but I was too lazy to roll my tired body on the other side to the center of attention. So I just decided to search the answer in Benji’s face. But I had to do it inconspicuously; because if somebody had noticed I was awake they would have involved me in what childish shit was going on.

As quiet as possible I tried to open only one eye. Yeah, I had to be careful. Somehow I managed it to open my left eye without anybody noticing. In front of my eyes sat Benji Indian style awkwardly chuckling behind his Mini-Wheat-Shit carton. Uhm… sure.

I opened also my other eye and just when I was about to raise my eyebrows at Benji, our eyes connected. Somehow the deep chocolate brown of his orbs confused me. I just didn’t know why. Anyway, he had the same expression as me all over his face.

I could have stared in his eyes for hours and wondered why they freaked me out so much, but I was interrupted by something stirring in the sleeping bag. No, it wasn’t my growing erection which I guessed was caused by Ashlee. It was her who was moving behind me. She turned on her other side, so that her face was nuzzled in my neck. Then she put a warm, smooth arm around me. I felt a soft tickle upon my skin wander my arm up and down.

Benji only giggled louder behind his stupid carton when I spread a satisfied grin over my face. A moment later I got to know why it was so funny, because meanwhile the gentle prickle hat turned into a mean prick.

”Ouch!” I exclaimed, turning on my back and getting a good, involuntarily look under Paul’s skirt. Yup, you heard right. His skirt.

He wore a Cinderella costume, which was a bit short (wait: did I say a bit?), held a wand with a star on its tip he was pricking me with, and had an embarrassing plastic crown on his head. And he was making the Waikiki dance. What… the… fuck…?

“Everybody Party! Dum-di-dum-di-dum!” He tried to sing.

I exchanged a glance with Benji. We both looked as if we would die the next moment from embarrassment. How could we have somebody like that as a friend? For Benji it couldn’t be that worse, because he didn’t know Paul very well yet. I on the other had been knowing him for ages.

Paul continued dancing and singing while we stared at him disgusted. The only one who looked entertained was Joel. He clapped his hands and was swinging to Paul’s singing. Suddenly Paul maneuvered through the door which led into the hallway. I was just about to breath in relief when he entered the room from the other side.

We all moaned exhausted, visibly annoyed by his attempt to cheer. Everybody except Joel. He was singing along to Paul. “Let’s make Party! Sha-la-la-la-la! Let’s make Party! Sha-la-la-la-la-la!”

Joel jumped to his feet and started dancing around Paul, who was making a belly dance. Joel sneaked the plastic wand from Pauls hands which were waving in the air. Joel ran over to us and touched everybody’s upper arm with the star on the tip of it. When he noticed that it didn’t affect us, he finally sat down on his sleeping place and watched the rest of Paul’s belly dance. We others tried to fall asleep again, annoyed. Benji rolled his eyes at his brother and put his wheat shit away, before he also slipped into his sleeping bag on my right side, looking at me.

Before we had the chance to start a conversation, Ashlee tipped on my upper arm. “Your friend is insane, isn’t he?” She hissed, half smirking.

“Just a little bit,” I grinned and turned on my other side, so that I could look her straight in the face, showing Benji my back.

“Alright, I’m going to sleep now. G’night, Billy.”

“Good night, Ash.” I smiled at her.

She turned her back to me and I put an arm around her. Paul, obviously pissed off, finally lay down on his mattress, his two insulating jackets and three large pillows and covered himself with two thick blankets. Finally.

“You’re all stupid,” he muttered as it was silent again after a long time.

“Good night, guys.” Ashlee said to all of us, nice how she was.

I grinned with my eyes shut: “Good Night.”

“Good Night.” I heard Joel from the other end of the room.

“Night.” Benji murmured, sniffling.

We all wished each other a good night, except Paul. I couldn’t believe he, a seventeen year old, was actually pissed, because of something like that, just because we didn’t want to see his hilarious “show”.

While I tried to fall I asleep I head Benji sniffling here and then. I thought that he maybe had a cold or something since the weather hadn’t been the best lately. So I wanted to be polite and asked if he needed a tissue, but he denied my request with a short “no”.

Every time I was so close to sink into the dream land, I felt somebody staring at me. I hated it when they did this, but I was too lazy to look around the room for the offender. Instead I just questioned myself who it could have been. Maybe it was Benji who wanted a tissue after all, or maybe it was Paul, who wanted to comport with us again… or maybe it was Ashlee, who wanted to finally kiss me.


One hour later

Okay, I hadn’t managed it to fall asleep. Just great. I decided to take a little piss and then get some food from Paul’s kitchen, because I was nearly starving.

I got up and headed for the bathroom. After I had taken my piss and had listened to its sound I went into the kitchen to look for ice cream or something. I needed real food, not that muffin shit Paul had come up with earlier.

I walked through the dark hallway and entered the pitch-black room. I really knew that house well. It was my second home since Paul had become my best friend. And the kitchen was definitely a place I knew very well, mostly because Paul and I spent most of our free time here creating new recipes.

I straightly went to the freezer compartment, opened it and grabbed the ice cream without even looking. I just knew where Paul’s family used to place things. I closed the door and got a spoon from a drawer. It was the last one. The others were probably in the dishwasher.

Again I felt a pair of eyes darting in my neck. Hell, slowly but surely this got scary. Maybe I should take a seat and calm myself down a little bit. Probably this was all just in my head.

I felt out my way over to the couch and sat down. But instead of falling into the confy couch pillows I collapsed on someone’s lap.

Startled I jumped to my feet and turned around. On the couch sat Benji, his eyes glossy.


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