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In The Darkness You Will Find Dirty Little Secrets We All Hide

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Chapter 3 – In The Darkness You Will Find Dirty Little Secrets We All Hide

I felt soft, warm lips melting into my own, and I kept my eyes closed, too afraid to do anything else. I caught my breath in my throat, feeling the butterflies flapping in my stomach. The gentle touch left a stimulating tickle on my lips. Suddenly she started sucking on my lower lip, tracing along it with her tongue. I opened my mouth slowly, allowing her access. Her tongue pressed carefully against mine. I concentrated on being cautious and not to bite her.

I had never done that before. I felt like such a loser, completely lost. But she made me feel comfortable. Within a few delicate touches we started an emotional game. There were so many thoughts rushing through my mind and before I could catch one of them she darted away, our lips separating.

“Holy shit!” I whispered exhausted.

“What’s the matter Billy? Are you alright? You smacked so strange a moment ago.” I heard Paul asking from beside me.

“Yeah.” I mumbled and with that the lights went on again. Immediately I started to look through the room for the girl who had kissed me. The only problem was: There was no girl, nor Benji or Joel, just Paul and me.



It was nearly 10 pm. Paul and I were sitting in my room, which was once again untidy. My mom had been telling me for a couple of days to clean it up. I never did it, because of her. This talented kisser, the girl who nearly made me go insane since we had left Starbucks. She was the reason why I needed more advice from Dr. Thomas.

Luckily Paul had brought all the necessary utensils in his backpack.

“You can already think about what you wanna ask me this time. I just need one more minute to put my monocle on!” He shouted from the bathroom, which was connected with my room. The door was a bit ajar, so that I could see Paul in the mirror fumbling with his monocle that was stuck in his mouth.

“Paul?” I raised both eyebrows, staring unbelievingly at his reflection, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He answered very incomprehensible.

A few seconds later I heard loud croaking, almost choking. Abruptly I sat up from my half-lying position in my arm chair to throw another gaze at Paul. The colored framed monocle fell into the basin, causing a clink, before he put it on and approached me.

“Okay, let’s start. I’m ready now.” He smiled generously.

I saw a thin trace of slobber on his cheek, probably from the monocle. And at this moment, staring at it was the only action I was capable to do.

“Billy, we can start now. What’s the problem?” Paul tried to push me, sitting down on my bed, which was in front of me.

“Uhm… Paul. Seriously, I think you need a doctor.”

“Oh, no, no.” He shook his head, slightly laughing. “If you mean that incident with my monocle… I just confounded it with the candy monocles I bought on the fair last week.”

“Oh yeah, I remember; good to know that. I thought that you’ve gone insane…” I muttered the last part. “Umm… okay… how do I start?”

“From the beginning,” Dr. Thomas suggested.

“Alright” I said, standing up to sit next to Paul on my bed. “At Starbucks… when there was the blackout somebody kissed me. I’m pretty sure that it was my hot chick, you know? Because I saw her as we entered the coffee shop.”

“Oh, but I thought you wouldn’t know what she looks like.” Paul interrupted me, fumbling with the collar of his white coat.

“Yes, but I saw these brown eyes. I know it was her. I mean she smiled at me and…”

“Oh my god, you don’t mean Ashlee from our math class? I saw her there, and she was the only one I know has brown eyes in her cheerleader clique. You really mean her? Oh Billy, what a bad taste. That’s the girl who has a crush on you since the kindergarten, she’s so annoying! Don’t you remember? She was the one who always stole your pencil!”

“So what? She’s an amazing kisser.”

“Fine, I’ll help you. But just because you’re my best friend… first you should… wait. One question: You said that she kissed you in the dark, right?”

“Yeah.” I nodded a little bit confused.

“Why are you so sure then that it was her? It was pitch-dark. It could have been anybody who was there.” Paul philosophized and shook his blond dyed head.

“Do you want to adumbrate that it was you?” I nearly shouted, jumping a little bit. That was exactly what I was scared of the whole time. I had feared something like that already when we had been still at Starbucks and suddenly both Paul’s flirts and my girl had been gone.

“Never ever; you know I wouldn’t do that.” He crossed his fingers in front of me, referring to his promise.

I sighed with relief. “But now you’ve confused me. How do I find out now if it was really her?”

“Hmm…” my best friend thought. He looked contemplative out of the window. A few bony boughs knocked against the glass, making a scratching sound, and the moon was shining in the crisp October air. “I think I have a good plan how we can find it out.”

A week later

Meanwhile Paul, Benji and Joel had become good friends. They met nearly every day at Starbucks where Joel worked during the summer holidays or we were in the park. Sometimes I felt a bit black-balled when Paul brought me with him, because they always talked about things I hadn’t much experience with. I didn’t understand why Paul still tried to affect them. They were a couple anyway. Both Benji and Joel had an eyebrow piercing which was probably a symbol for their close relationship. Furthermore they were always hanging out together, it was so obvious.

I still hadn’t got the chance to ask Benji about his sister, and besides, he had really left the permanent impression as Mr. Weird. But Paul had a “great plan”; he suggested making my girl a little bit jealous so that she would let herself go. So Paul had called a very good female friend of his to make sure she could play the role of my alleged girlfriend. We let Joel in on our plan so that he could let us know when ‘Hot Chick’ would appear at Starbucks. At first he didn’t want to do it – for no reason so ever. But after Paul had invited him to a few – okay, a lot – Mint Chocolate Chip Frappochino’s he had agreed.

Today was the day Joel had made an emergency call to Paul’s cell phone. Straight away we set off and within five minutes on Paul’s auto cycle we reached Starbucks. When we arrived there Paul’s friend Lindsay was already waiting there for us, so were Benji and Joel.

How we had planned that Lindsay and I would greet each other was with a passionate embrace. Meanwhile I tried to make eye contact with Ashlee. She and her friends sat at a table near the entrance, drinking Iced Mocha’s and eating muffins. I continued looking at her while Lindsay’s and my fingers entwined. Finally Ashlee looked up to me with a sad smile on her pretty face. Strangely I felt that same smile hitting me from another direction. I couldn’t sense who it was and when I looked around there was no one, it must have just been in my head.

“Billy, Honey, what would you like to drink?” Lindsay interrupted my thoughts, pulling me closer to her while we walked to the shop’s counter.

“A Strawberries and Cream” I answered nervously, looking around. Again I caught Ashlee’s gaze, she didn’t look happy at all. I hoped it was jealousy that made her wear that weird smile.

Joel took our order and we went over to the little table with the orange lamp hanging from the ceiling. Lindsay began fumbling with my “The Used” shirt. I forced a smile twiddling with her smooth fingers in mine. After a few minutes we got our drinks. Giggling Lindsay handed me her “Vanilla Bean”, silently inviting me to take a sip from her straw. As I felt the vanilla taste coating my tongue I looked over to Ashlee who really had a pissed off expression on her face. Then she stood up and stomped out of the coffee shop.

Our plan had actually worked, and now the rest was up to me. Immediately I ran after her, feeling again someone’s glance persisting into my back but I didn’t care, I just wanted to talk to Ashlee.

“Hey Ashlee! Wait! I gotta talk to you.” I shouted.

She paused without looking at me.

I walked a few meters over the cold cement until I reached her. “Hey. Why are you here all by yourself?” I asked.

“Leave me alone.” She mumbled, fixing her dark brown hair.

“Are you mad at me?” I tried to come to the point.

“Why should I? You just have made out with some girl in front of me, although you knew what I feel for you.” She admitted.

I sighed ashamed. “That was all fake, it was just an emergency measure to you get your attention.”

“What?” She burst out. “So you like me, too? You just wanted to see if it was real what I feel for you?”

“Yes.” I nodded, looking down. From the corner of my eyes I could see all costumers of Starbucks staring out the windows in the aisle of the shopping mall, including Paul, Joel and Mr. Weird who had a really, really weird facial expression that I couldn’t interpret.

“Oh, that’s so cute, Billy!” She squealed, hugging me so that I nearly broke down from a lack of oxygen.

“Uh, yeah.” I coughed. “So, you want to be with me?” I asked hesitantly.

She pulled back and looked at me with a dreamy shine upon her wonderful eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Of course,” I smiled, feeling the butterflies starting to flap again in my stomach.

“Oh God! Yes! That’s all I ever wanted, Billy! Finally you’ve come to your senses.” She grinned happily, still staring at me in amazement.

All I could do was drowning in these breath taking eyes. But something held me back to drown completely in them…

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