Reviews For Stay Young, Go Dancing
I’m just worried because she clearly spends the entire chapter being very, very broken still. And yes, I think being able to talk to Benji probably helped. She obviously needed that. But they are obviously jumping steps here. Big steps. Mountain sized steps. I want to see them together so badly. Like, so, so badly. But I am not comfortable going into this next chapter thinking you’re going to have everything between them all peachy and nice. I don’t trust you. I don’t trust that this is really okay, and going to STAY okay with them both lol. But only you know that. Until then, I guard my feelings against you, respectfully, Miss Ethelyn lol.
Joel is really pushing my buttons. I want to say I get it, twins…looking out for Benji... whatever. But sheesh, back off a little. He’s already completely fucked with Mia’s mind. I kind of what to hit him.
I didn’t think I could hate Crystal more, but guess what? I do! And Alex too! Fuck, they are just terrible people. And I can’t believe Alex is still with that dumb bitch. Poor Mia. Finally going out, trying to have a good time, and ending up dealing with all these miserable people. Alex better not have married that bitch to stay in the US. That will really devastate her, but I would not be surprised by it at all.
This chapter, just everything about it, was amazing. I like how detailed you got with how much Benji was pushing her (or wanting to push her, but being nervous to push her too much) and how frustrated he was. And it’s so obvious why it’s so frustrating. It’s funny how we can trick ourselves into thinking we don’t feel the things we do.
And ugh… every man I love replaces me so easily… that part was so, so sad. Trying desperately to figure out what was wrong with her. Legitimately asking Benji to explain it to her. I love Mia so much. I really truly love her character because she just tugs at so any emotions for me. I love her most when she is open and raw, which I only see with Benji. She’s been dealt such a crap hand that she hasn’t deserved. I hope she starts to really heal soon. I hope she and Benji can find a balance here that won’t destroy one or both of them. And the end of the chapter doesn’t seem to give me much hope for that, like I said, because I don’t trust you haha. But a girl can dream, I suppose. As least until the next chapter is posted, I can pretend like they will have amazing sex and finally fulfill each other’s needs and are good together.
Author's Response: Ah, Robyn, I've missed your reviews! Not gonna lie, I was having a terrible day yesterday and seeing your review pop up in my email was delightful. I do not mean to give you a heart attack, by any means. However you know my love for cliffhangers. <3
We will see what happens in the next chapter. I don't want to give too much away, but I don't think that I will hurt your feelings (too badly, I hope). They still need to figure their shit out…especially Mia. And I'm not mean enough to sabotage what Benji wants to build with her. I totally agree that it's obvious Mia is too broken…and the chapter pushes her to the edge of this brokenness. She's pushed to the limit…not just by Benji who opens her up but by Alex and Crystal. So an accumulation of all of this emotion and rawness ended up being the end of the chapter. Mia was at rock bottom and Benji happened to be there, trying to help her. Was it wise to kiss her? Probably not…but as you said before, Benji is THAT weak around Mia. These two are only that vulnerable around each other and I think that's one of the beauties of this story.
I won't say anything more about Crystal and Alex besides the fact that…this isn't the last you see of them. Mia still has to cope with Alex and Benji still has to deal with Crystal. As for Joel, he has to be THAT guy. The one who thinks he is being helpful, but in all reality you just kind of want him to stop. At least you have Nicole there, right?
I had written that part of Mia breaking down and asking Benji those questions as one of the first scenes of this story…a long time ago. After my own pain, I remember writing that scene and it always hurts me to read it. It hurt me to write it, in fact. I love writing Mia as a character because she's just so honest and truthful. I've had my moments in life where I asked the same questions…and I think that every girl (or boy) can relate when they go through a break up. You're right to not trust me, my dear. However, I don't want to crush Benji…that's just not in my plan. So we will see what happens. As you said before, just think of their hot five year anticipated sex until I post up the next chapter. ;)
The story has veered in a different direction that I originally intended, but it's done so in a natural course. I still have much more and I need to work on the past…so I can't wait. I won't be cruel and have you guys wait too long. Thank you for always reviewing. I really, truly mean that. You always make me feel like a real writer and that I'm not crazy for writing in this story and posting it. You're the best. <3
Author's Response: Aw thank you…I really need to get better with updating faster! I'm working on it, I swear! I'm glad that this shows why they act the way they do…and why Benji took her in so fast in the present time. I didn't want that to seem random. There is always a reasoning for everything I do in my stories. :) I can't wait to write the in between years, it will be fun! Thank you so much for reviewing…reviews make my day and drive me to write even faster. :))
Man, Benji's been through some shit, huh? That whole van part- it really was so important to his mindset. I'm reading like- shut up about the van! Pay your bills! But at the same time, I so get it. I so get that he has this shit of a life all the time, from work to home to family(some aspects anyway). The band is the thing that he's had to get him through that, and the van isn't about the van. It's about what it represents- his chance. His shot to make the good things happen, to realize his dreams, and get out of the situation he's in. So I totally get his pure focus on it, at the same time. It made me sad for him. It was sad watching everything fall apart around him. But I love that Mia was the one thing that was solid and good. And not just that. Their relationship was so important and such a good thing in his life, that not only did it provide his only other form of good besides the band, but it was enough to make all the bad not completely crush him. It held the weight he had coming down on him. He was able to be HAPPY in spite of everything, not just barely survive it.
This happy, carefree teenage Mia is the perfect version of her younger self. Like, I can totally see this girl going through what she will, and coming out being the person she is later. You wrote a perfect, completely believable transition for her from this girl to her present day self. Does that make sense? I hope so. Anyway, loved it of course! Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Questions are always good! The beginning excerpt, Mia's acceptance letter for college was intended to be sort of a foreshadowing as to what's going to happen with Mia and ensuring that she will go to college, meanwhile poor Benji still doesn't know what's going on with his life. It actually does come around the time the chapter took place, but Mia doesn't tell Benji (She will soon, though of course) cuz that kid has ENOUGH on his plate. It was supposed to go with the first part of the chapter with the dinner, reminding them (Benji and Mia) that the future will change soon. Don't worry, the next chapter will deal with it soon enough. I hope that I answered your question okay. :p I didn't intend to have the dinner so long, but I always enjoy writing Mia's family dynamics. A large family is a fun one to write, especially brothers. Once again, it's clear that she comes from a firm and supportive family, which is reflected in how she acts towards Benji. Her parents push her to be the person that she is and that's so important for who she becomes later in life. As for Mr. Younger, I wanted him to be intimidating but understanding and approving Benji because he sees how hard Benji works. And Benji craves this approval from a male figure, especially at such a young age. Benji…has been through a lot! They both have, the twins. But that's why I've always been so drawn to writing about them. I take so much of their 'biographical' aspects and mold it into my own story and I find it so interesting and enriching to write. I had written that van part way earlier on in this story and my goal had been to show that he doesn't always get along with Joel AND that yes - the van represents the mobility to leave the town and situation he so desperately wants out of. It was a difficult scene to write because he was so mean to Joel when he shouldn't have been - but we all know that Benji can be an asshole, even to Joel. I also wanted to show once again that Mia is the only person he can fully show emotion to - which is why he loves her so much. I'm so glad that the past is fleshing out to show the foundation that is Mia. Because she is so vital to Benji's turbulent past and this will always be reflected in present Benji. Gosh, that is probably one of the best compliments about Mia's character. Thank you so much! I can't wait for you to read the rest of their transition - from late teens to early 20's. Ugh, I need to write faster!! Hahaha. Thank you again, for always reviewing and being so patient. I'm sorry I have been so absent, work has been killing me. But I promise that I will be putting up the next chapter within the next several weeks. I HAVE to continue their story. :)
Reviewed by: Eknecht24 on 07/01/2014 🚩Really liked this chapter, now we know the back story to why benji took Mia in
Author's Response: Thank you. :) That was the goal of the chapter, like I had said before it had been intended to be put with chapter eight…but as we all know, I write too much and I had to split it in half. The next chapter will have both the past and the present and I will try to put it at a reasonable length again. Thank you for reviewing!!!!
I don’t know if Alex will resurface in this story again, but if he does, can we make his life fall apart please? I don’t want him to be happy with that slut bitch model. Can she give him the clap or something?
Man, Benji is doing a great job of playing Mr. I’m Just Your Friend, huh? I’m so mixed over what I think his intentions are. I know he has feelings for her, and I know he knows that, but I’m not sure how much he knows that… I know he wants to do the right thing by her and be there as a friend. I don’t think he has ulterior motives. As least not consciously. And they’re not noxious intentions, by any means. But I feel like subconsciously he wants things to progress with them. But for the time being, I really really think he’s just trying to be the good guy. But if he’s just trying to be the good guy to make up for the past (like Joel said), rather than to be her friend in the present, then that’s not really a good thing. Because nothing he does can really make up for the past. You’d think what Mia just went through with Alex is the worst possible way to break up with someone, but I still think her and Benji’s situation was worse. They were more in love, for together for way longer, and as painful as cheating and manipulation are, a miscarriage followed by him completely ditching her is the doucheist possible thing in the world. So Benji has a lot more to settle up for than just being her friend in this situation.
That whole Joel thing was intense. He really just pushed his opinion all up in there. And I get it. Benji’s his brother and he’s protecting him.. whatever. He really fucked with Mia’s head on that, and is making her situation with Benji way more awkward that it had to be. I think they would have been okay, at least for a while. She obviously had no intention of doing anything with Benji, and he really is just trying to be the good guy. I think they could have made the situation work on a friendly and appropriate level, at least for a while. But nooooo. Joel had to go and put these ideas in her head and make her question everything she does and says around Benji. And now he’s added stress to a situation that didn’t warrant it. Poor Mia is just trying to survive at this point and he made it that much harder for her to do that. I’m interested to see if Benji ever finds out that that conversation took place.
I love their interaction once she moves in. I wonder about what Benji read in her journals regarding their break-up and what he thought of it. And I like that they aren’t constantly interacting- that Benji still has this own stuff going on and they aren’t completely in each other’s space making everything overbearing. Again, I think they would have really made the best of this situation had Joel not gotten into Lily’s head. I just hope Mia starts to recuperate soon for her own sake. It obviously took her years to get over what Benji did to her. I’m hoping that’s just because Benji is Benji, and that it’s easier for her with Alex. She needs to find herself again before attempting a relationship, and she and Benji still have so many of their own unresolved issues. I don’t know where they will go from here, but I can’t wait to find out.
And seriously, where does Alex even get off saying what he said in that voicemail? I mean, seriously? SHE moved on so fast? What an idiot. God I hate him. I hate that he can get to Mia even when saying such stupid, asinine, hypocritical garbage. Ugh. Fuck that guy.
I feel like I’m missing so much in this review… but lord I’ve been so busy this took me like three separate sit downs to write lol. You’re a better person than I am for being able to put together that much in a chapter and I can barely write out a review lol. Let alone work on my own story. I greatly appreciate you spending the time to still work on this as diligently as you do. If you ever decide to quit writing it, I’m gonna need a heads up, plus a brief description of what you had intended to do with it, because I can’t not know what happens with these two lol. It’s pathetic. Each time you give me one of their POV’s, I desperately want to know the POV of the other one lol. And I still can’t wait to see what happens once you do bring in the mid-20’s versions of them. Ugh. There’s so much left to learn haha. So much I want to know and I can’t wait to read it. Again- pa-the-tic. Anyway, fantastic job as always. You also manage to bring so much to the table, yet leave me desperately wanting more. I love it.
Reviewed by: Eknecht24 on 05/01/2014 🚩This is the best story I have ever read on this site
A fantasic chapter! I love the punch! I can't wait for more!
Congrats on getting into grad school! That's so exciting!
Author's Response: Oh my, sorry this is so late! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. :) Yes, I love the punch! And of course it came from Mia, not Benji. I wrote that part a long time ago, when I first started the story and it was actually the first part I wrote about the chapter. I hope that you like the next chapter. I hope to get out another chapter before the end of the month again. Thanks also about grad school…it was a bitch to get into (and expensive :() I can't wait to start! Then I'll know more about English 8)
Author's Response: I'm soooorrrryyyyyyy…you know that I like to keep things interesting! Mia IS a runner though, literally and figuratively. :p It's a part of her character, which hopefully Benji can somehow anchor her down. One can only hope, right?
This story I actually saved and read the first time on a very long international flight. It was so wonderful and I couldn't put it down, and despite being a fast reader this story kept me entertained for a large portion of the flight... Of course I did read and reread my favourite moments/scenes two, three, four and five times! The intricacies and interconnections between the stories of Benji and Mia at three different ages is wonderfully done. Each time the time/POV shifts I'm sad that it's over, but equally excited to read the new time/POV! It's unfolding beautifully and I think you're doing an amazing job with developing each storyline/character in each time period and also overall.
The scene where teenage Benji and Mia get locked in the closet and finally share their feelings and their first kiss is one of my favorites in the world of fanfiction... it really makes me feel so happy when I read it! I love how these two are so strongly attracted to each other at some primeval level, they just can't stay away from each other and can't keep their hands off each other when they do meet up. I love how sweet and naive and unsure these two both are as teenagers, and then how much they grow up over the years but still have flashbacks to those teenage selves/emotions. I love how Benji remembers everything that Mia likes and goes to so much effort to incorporate all those things into her birthday party. I love how he saves her life when Alex is momentarily out of the picture. I love the sex dream sequence where Alex morphs into Benji... And then the inevitable unconscious moaning of Benji's name! I love how Leslie secretly invites Benji along to the shopping centre and then leaves with that hilarious apology to Mia, followed by Mia's embarrassing confession... having that occur with Mia sitting in her wedding dress, by the way, was truly a moment of writing genius! I guess what I'm saying is that I LOVE your story :)
Moving on to the major reveal of this most recent chapter... Wow. Wow. My heart is breaking for both of them. Such an incredibly traumatic and horrible thing for them to deal with. It was interesting to see how much Mia has grown and how much stronger she is now following Benji's asshole behaviour at the time, compared with poor Benji who still hadn't dealt with the tragedy all these years later and now has such a breakdown when the memories resurface. But wow, right after you take us to rock bottom, now a hint of the next curve on this roller coaster ride: Mia admits that she misses him... MIA MISSES BENJ! An exciting, poignant, satisfying and uplifting end to such a dramatic and emotional chapter - very well written!
I can't wait to read the next chapter, I'm so so keen to see how the various threads of this story develop and interweave, and to see how these characters continue to grow. Thank you for such a beautiful story, perfect in every way, and know that I'm eagerly awaiting the next installment whenever that may be.
Author's Response: I would like to take the time to give you the biggest thank you. Thank you for taking the time to write such a wonderful review and thank you for taking the time to read this insanely long story. I've made a promise to myself that I would only write a story as if I would want to read it (and reread it again). So it really means so much to me that you love the characters and the plot AND willingly go to reread it again. :)
I am very, very impressed that you read this on an international flight! I've been on long, international flights before and I just can't seem to keep reading for long periods of time on them. Instead I watch movies, drink, and sleep. Mostly sleep. :p I am flattered that you chose to read my story and thankful that it kept you entertained. I've been really trying to show development and growth in between them as characters and it is such a relief to know that you can see it.
The scenes that you talked about being some of your favorites, the closet scene, Mia's birthday party in the present time, the dream sequence of Alex turning into Benji, and then finally when Leslie brings Benji to see Mia in her wedding dress…have been some of my favorite scenes to write! Especially the closet scene, because it's a cumulation of their feelings spilling over towards each other. The dream sequence of Benji and Alex I had no idea where I got it from, but I think I was staring at Benji's tattoos one day (I swear, I need more of a life) and I just thought that they were so intriguing and original. Then the idea of recognizing someone from their tattoos came into my head, which turned into the scene itself. That and I wanted an excuse to have a Benji/Mia sex scene. ;)
This chapter was very heartbreaking to write. It was a very necessary chapter to write. It needed to be put out there why it was that Benji and Mia had so many issues after their last break up and the fact of the matter is that Benji never dealt with them. I certainly hope that this next chapter is up to par, especially since it is Benji's POV. I tried to make it less emo, even though that's difficult for Benji with what he is going through. I hope that you keep reading and that you enjoy how the characters will evolve and change, both in the present and in the past. We will see how much more I can weave between past, present, and future. THANK YOU AGAIN…for your patience, for reviewing, and for your love. It means so much to me and it's truly the reason why I keep writing in this story.
I'm totally in love with this story!! Please, dear god, keep writing! I've been putting off all of my homework for the last few days, charging through this story! I'm addicted! Give me more! Lol! Keep up the good work, I look forward to the next chapter!!
Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I hope that you finally was able to do your homework, haha. Don't let it distract you too much! My hope is to keep updating again on a more regular basis, so hopefully I can feed your addiction. :p Thank you for reading it, it's dreadfully long in some parts, and for leaving a review. I hope that the next chapter is up to expectations. Thank you again!
Reviewed by: Eknecht24 on 11/20/2013 🚩I Love this story I love the different perspectives and the flash backs, keep writing, it's amazing
Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's a wild roller coaster ride to write, but it's well worth it. Thank you for reading and reviewing! I hope that you like the next chapter that I posted. :)
Yeah, it’s kinda of depressing to think I was 17 a freaking decade ago too. I don’t like to think about it haha. We are on the wrong end of 25, my friend. Pushing thirty waaaay to close for comfort.
I think that’s why my reviews for you have to be so long- because I’m reviewing these characters, but they’re all so different. Mia then, Mia now, Benji then, Benji now… and adding in the 20’s versions?! I’m gonna be giving you 14 page reviews lol. But I’m excited to see that phase in their lives, because I want to see how it bridges the young and the current versions. I want to see what exactly happened to really change them the way they have changed.
Ugh… you’ll finish it as long as the site is still running. That’s another fear of mine lol. I keep telling Zsuzsi (Kuszi) that we need another place to go if this site closes! And a warning before that happens haha. We have equated ourselves to victims of addiction. We cannot be expected to just quit cold turkey. We need a proverbial crack house for this habit! And it’s quickly approaching the end of the year where, if the site is going to close, it will be soon! I’ve had too close to ten years invested in this site lol.
Anyway... keep working! You know I'll be anxiously awaiting the next update... as long as the site is still open for you to post it. It'd better be! lol
Author's Response: Robyn! Thanks for leaving another review - I really needed it to keep my motivation going after being burned out with graduate school applications. I've been away from the site for a good couple of months because of it and it feels super good to be back and with another chapter! I'm sorry again for hitting a sensitive spot about the miscarriage - I'm happy to hear that you have a wonderful family to help you. :)
There's SO much more to be said about Benji and Mia's situation, it will need a lot of time to heal. Benji's realizing the repercussions of his actions within himself and within Mia. Whatever they did in their past tends to always reflect their actions and thinking in the present/future. I think that's one big reason why they can't stay away from each other. I really can't wait until I can start writing them in their early 20's and everything, as you said it, comes bridging together. This story has been such a pain in my ass, but it's a good pain. It's a pain that is worth it and I love getting into when I'm in the zone, writing it. I'm just so thankful and happy that people actually read and review it. I really can not thank you enough. I hope that they next chapter that I just posted is satisfactory. :D
PS, the day the site permanently closes will be the day I will wander around like a lost puppy dog and cry. i will donate lots of money as soon as i get paid…it'll make me feel better about the chances of the site closing. ;p