Reviews For In my brothers, I trust
I'm not a multi-tasker either, I lose interest in most things in about 2 weeks, my attention is very fleeting so I do many things *after* another and then do the sequence from the beginning. I'm weird like that.
I have no ide about what they did or how, but it will be up to you, later on. I'm not pushing for it now, but it would be awesome if it happened in a year or two :)
Author's Response: Haha. Guess we're in the same field of weird. Yup, not at the moment. Maybe in a year, I'll come back with the story :D
AWESOME! Love the concept! Very good and captured the brothers theme very well! Some dialogue tweaking is needed but that will come with time. The story itself is compelling and disturbing. Loving enough to kill. Dark but with a silver lining.
Again, your plot is excellent and original. Haven't seen a rape fic like this one on here. The only critique I would give is dialogue and pacing. The dialogue I give you a pass on because I know you are still perfecting your English and I honestly feel that will improve with time. The pacing, however, was too quick. I'd like to have seen it slower and more developed. I'd love to see you return to this one-shot in a few months and re-write it to make it even better. It has a lot of potential!!!!
Kudos to you and cookies for having one helluva idea!!! Was well worth my time reading it :D
Author's Response: Wow, you're so awesome to leave a review like this one :) Glad you love the concept. 'Loving enough to kill' - totally describe the story. Hehe. Yeah, the plot just popped up into my head last week and I tried my best to be as original as possible :D You're right with the dialogue, I'll try better. :) Oh yeah, I myself felt the pacing was too quick but I just wrote this out of the blue so I haven't put a lot of thought in it. But I guess I'll return and re-write it later, maybe after I finished the other story that I'm still working on. :D Thanks again for the nice review, I really appreciate it :) <3
um, definitely NOT the cleaning-lady story.
This was very dark, and I don't even know, I think what the boys did was even worse than what Chris&Co. (TM) did. I'm pretty sure that was their drug-dealing business name. Yes. haha
Anyway, if I were Joel, I would be freaked the fuck out to be living around people who didn't even think twice about murdering two men, regardless of them deserving it or not. And they executed it so coolly like it was the most natural thing on the earth. Like taking out a trash or something. He's living between a bunch of psycho's!!! RUN, JOEL! RUN!!!!
You know, I believe this is one of those stories that should be kept in mind and revisited some time after. If you spend another year here putting out more stories and gaining more experience, I think it would be awesome if you took another look at this one. It could maybe developed into a multi-chaptered story even or kept as a long-long stanalone, but I am convinced that if you were to make it more detailed and even darker, it could be truly outstanding. I love the plot and it has tons of potential still that you could explore later on if you want to. I would love to read about those psychos plotting and planning and executing... if you made them really crazy and sick and dark, it would be awesome. Think about it. :)
Much love! And thanks, it was really enjoyable and refreshing :)
Author's Response: Auw, sorry to disappoint you about the cleaning-lady story :P Chris & Co. (TM) - funny name. Very convincing name for a drug-dealing business.LOL. Oh yeah, the killing. If I were Joel, I'd freak the hell out. Haha. Thanks for believing in this story. :) Frankly, the thought of making this story as multi-chaptered story had really crossed my mind, but I'm still learning to improve here, so maybe later :) (plus, I'm still on my way to finish Only Life and I'm not really the one who's expert at multi-tasking :P) I'm glad you love the plot, maybe you could suggest some points regarding what had the psychos done to Chris & Co. (TM). I'm all ears :) And thanks very much for the review. <3