iluvmybenji
Real name: Rachel
Member Since: 05/21/2005
Last Login: 11/14/2015
Skin: Lifestyles

Ello my name is Rachel and I live in a shit state known as Connecticut. I love to write and since I found out about this site reading has become a new hobby of mine heh. Ummm... Favorite movie is Nightmare Before Christmas, favorite genre... to read and write would have to be TWINCEST! though with that I do a lot of co-written stories with my own twin Jess or better known as lostmyname.

That's pretty much it. If you wanna contact me I have AIM and my e-mail is rockin_freak_show@yahoo.com



  • Benji and Angie were the perfect engaged couple. They had a beautiful house, they both had extremely successful careers and they were deeply in love. They had achieved the picture perfect life that would make anyone jealous... but when a year old secret slips out everything falls apart.

    This is the playlist telling the story of what happened, where they've been, and where they're going... if they can survive the break up.

    Categories: Het Pairings
    Characters: Benji/OFC
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Drug Use, Self-Harm
    Series: None
    Reviews: 11
    Completed: No
    Word count: 12004
    Read Count: 577
    Chapters: 3
    📘 🚩
    Published: 09/10/2008 - Updated:09/30/2008
  • I was listening to ‘Never Enough,’ by the Cure and it just reminded me that this story was sitting in some dusty old file on this computer. Joel’s seems happy. He’s adopted a baby with his boyfriend and he’s living the life. Thank god Benji’s always there when he needs him.

    Categories: Slash Pairings
    Characters: Benji/Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 28
    Completed: No
    Word count: 25572
    Read Count: 1336
    Chapters: 6
    📘 🚩
    Published: 08/24/2007 - Updated:06/15/2008
  • And it’s only in my head, after I’ve slipped away into a deep sleep that I can have her…

    Reminiscing about the past at the 10 year La Plata High School reunion. Mistakes, regrets, wishes, and reuniting with so many faces he's tried so hard to forget come back in a rush.

    Categories: Band Centric
    Characters: None
    Genres: Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 1
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 1704
    Read Count: 104
    Chapters: 1
    📘 🚩
    Published: 04/03/2008 - Updated:04/05/2008
  • “I thought that we were perfect… why couldn’t we be perfect?” I mumbled quietly as I look around the wrecked living room.

    And I swear I could hear him whisper “I love you Joely…”

    I must be fucking crazy… yeah crazy for him…

    Categories: Slash Pairings
    Characters: Benji/Joel
    Genres: Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 18
    Completed: No
    Word count: 14233
    Read Count: 2447
    Chapters: 12
    📘 🚩
    Published: 10/16/2006 - Updated:12/02/2007
  • Now turn away
    Cause I'm awful just to see
    Cause my hair's abandoned all my body
    Oh, my agony,
    know that I will never marry,
    Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
    but counting down the days to go

    Categories: Slash Pairings
    Characters: Benji/Joel
    Genres: Drama, Religious, Supernatural, Tragedy
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Death, Self-Harm
    Series: None
    Reviews: 42
    Completed: No
    Word count: 21704
    Read Count: 3493
    Chapters: 12
    📘 🚩
    Published: 04/05/2007 - Updated:12/02/2007
  • Joel's relationship with Hilary was just supposed to be a cover for Benji and Joel's relationship. So why is Joel suddenly married to her? And why didn't Benji know about it?

    Categories: Slash Pairings
    Characters: Benji/Joel
    Genres: Angst, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Drug Use, Self-Harm, Suicide, Violence
    Series: None
    Reviews: 11
    Completed: No
    Word count: 2602
    Read Count: 440
    Chapters: 2
    📘 🚩
    Published: 12/13/2005 - Updated:09/22/2007
  • Love sure, but Benji and Joel had no clue what they had gotten themselves into.

    Categories: Het Pairings
    Characters: Benji/OFC, Joel/OFC
    Genres: Comedy, Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Drug Use
    Series: None
    Reviews: 8
    Completed: No
    Word count: 5359
    Read Count: 375
    Chapters: 2
    📘 🚩
    Published: 07/29/2007 - Updated:09/13/2007
  • I touch you once, I touch you twice
    I wont let go at any price
    I need you now like i needed you then
    You always said we'd still be friends someday
    If you leave I won't cry
    I won't waste a single day
    But if you leave, no don't look back
    I'll be running the other way
    Seven years went under the bridge
    Our time was standing still Heaven knows what happens now you've gotta
    You've gotta say you will...

    Categories: Het Pairings
    Characters: Benji/OFC
    Genres: Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Drug Use
    Series: None
    Reviews: 8
    Completed: No
    Word count: 6917
    Read Count: 728
    Chapters: 4
    📘 🚩
    Published: 11/13/2006 - Updated:06/16/2007
  • Simply about a love triangle that proves that not all love stories end with happily ever after.

    Categories: Het Pairings
    Characters: Benji/OFC
    Genres: Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Death, Drug Use, Self-Harm
    Series: None
    Reviews: 3
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 6425
    Read Count: 311
    Chapters: 1
    📘 🚩
    Published: 11/28/2006 - Updated:11/28/2006
  • "
    You always made fun of religion.

    And now… look it's making fun of you.

    But in all honesty my dear departed brother…


    I’m glad you’re dead."

    Categories: Slash Pairings
    Characters: Benji/Joel
    Genres: Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Death
    Series: None
    Reviews: 0
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 1903
    Read Count: 108
    Chapters: 1
    📘 🚩
    Published: 11/25/2006 - Updated:11/26/2006
  • You’re what keeps me believing
    The world’s not gone dead
    Strength in my bones
    Put the words in my head
    When they pour out to paper
    It’s all for you
    Cause that’s what you do
    That’s what you do

    Categories: Slash Pairings
    Characters: Benji/Joel
    Genres: Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: None
    Series: None
    Reviews: 2
    Completed: No
    Word count: 1358
    Read Count: 68
    Chapters: 1
    📘 🚩
    Published: 11/22/2006 - Updated:11/23/2006
  • And love, that was truly the prettiest lie that you had ever told me, that you loved me with everything you had. It was never much but now you have everything you've ever wanted and I'm sitting here on life support. I can't even fucking move, I can't talk, can't open my eyes. Can't tell the world what really happened that night. I can't tell everyone what you really did.

    Categories: Slash Pairings
    Characters: Benji/Joel
    Genres: Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Death, Violence
    Series: None
    Reviews: 3
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 2428
    Read Count: 112
    Chapters: 1
    📘 🚩
    Published: 08/19/2006 - Updated:08/19/2006
  • I wiped away a few of my tears as I pulled the note out of my pocket. I looked to the sky, hoping to see her face looking down on me among the angry clouds... but like every year I saw nothing but the rain pelting the earth.

    Categories: Het Pairings
    Characters: Benji/OFC, Billy/OFC
    Genres: Drama, Romance
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use
    Series: None
    Reviews: 4
    Completed: Yes
    Word count: 3498
    Read Count: 97
    Chapters: 1
    📘 🚩
    Published: 11/05/2005 - Updated:11/05/2005
  • I breathed in the cold air, closing my eyes and drifting to the back of my mind once again. I struggled to sit up and lean against the wall, but I fail miserably. I jerk back to the real world’s reality as I tried to get comfortable, but the confines that I was forced to be in kept me from any comfort. As well as cause tons of itches that can’t be scratched.

    Categories: Band Centric
    Characters: None
    Genres: Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Abuse, Violence
    Series: None
    Reviews: 33
    Completed: No
    Word count: 28256
    Read Count: 453
    Chapters: 13
    📘 🚩
    Published: 07/27/2005 - Updated:09/04/2005
  • I spend more time with his fucking band mates on a 3 month tour than I have with him in my entire life. Always I just wanted daddy’s attention, to be daddy’s little girl. But I never was. He hated me.

    Categories: Band Centric
    Characters: None
    Genres: Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Abuse, Self-Harm
    Series: None
    Reviews: 7
    Completed: No
    Word count: 5864
    Read Count: 153
    Chapters: 2
    📘 🚩
    Published: 08/21/2005 - Updated:08/30/2005
  • I'm only 13 and I've been through more than most people go throgh in their entire lives. I can' t do anything right. And no one calls me by my name any more... I have even let my name get itself lost. It doesn't fit me anymore than I fit in this world. I'm the only they call God's Only Mistake. There is no heaven for me when I'm locked behind the gates of hell.

    Categories: Band Centric
    Characters: None
    Genres: Drama
    Story Type: None
    Warnings: Self-Harm
    Series: None
    Reviews: 15
    Completed: No
    Word count: 3205
    Read Count: 117
    Chapters: 2
    📘 🚩
    Published: 07/01/2005 - Updated:07/07/2005
🔝