Reviews For To Find Immortality


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  • Reviewed by: merlel640 on 04/03/2011 🚩

    okay so at first this didn't really interest me but now it really is. keep goingg! :)

  • Reviewed by: JustWannaBeLoved on 03/21/2011 🚩
    I think you should keep updating because I really like it, I just think you need to make a few tweaks here and there :)
  • Reviewed by: JustWannaBeLoved on 03/21/2011 🚩
    You really need to make these chapters longer, I'm liking what I read but they end so soon! :/ I also am a bit confused at how David was so mean, now suddenly turning nice..... I'm just getting confused overall. If Billy is a vampire or demon, surely he should have enough strength to attack these people and get him and Benji out! There's just so much that could be done to add plot consistency but I feel like it's sorely lacking thickness. I really do enjoy your story but I think you should add some more detail to the characters and well as the plot. I'm sorry if I'm sounding rude.... I just think it's a great concept, it needs more 'oomph' so get on it!! Lol :)
  • Reviewed by: JustWannaBeLoved on 03/21/2011 🚩
    It's definitely getting interesting. A few bugs here and there but it's good nonetheless!
  • Reviewed by: JustWannaBeLoved on 03/21/2011 🚩
    This chapter was pretty short. I really like the concept and I'm interested in where tour taking this but I feel like your rushing it just a bit too much.

    Author's Response:

    Thanks for the comment.

    When the fiction was originally started I had a concept in my head, but no notes or anything. I am planning more, so hopefully the structure will get better as the new chapters are put up.

  • Reviewed by: Daddys little vampire on 10/10/2005 🚩
    Update! update! UPDATE!

    Author's Response: Its coming. I have written it in paper form, and its being proof read. Its a very slow process, but im almost there. Try and update by the end of next week. Fingers crossed
  • Reviewed by: theghostofyou14 on 07/23/2005 🚩
    this is a freaky story but in a good way.
  • Reviewed by: Freaky Girl on 06/27/2005 🚩
    Heh, it's STILL good! Though here's some help:You write like this: "Deedee and I went to the store", But it should be: "Deedee and I went to the store." If you want, I can help fix this, but if not, meh, it's just really annoying to me. XD And don't worry, I, too, failed English. :D
  • Reviewed by: martingirl_11 on 06/24/2005 🚩
    i really like this story.Ever scince I read this I have been trying to write a vampire story myself.
  • Reviewed by: flamesofdarkness on 06/22/2005 🚩
    oh mi gawd you have to update soon or i will cry so har that the wold might flood. my hands were shaking so hard when benji wa sin davids arms poor billy for having to watch his benji in the arms of some man that i think doesn't even want to be there i love this story like thers no tomorrow so please update as soon as possible please?
  • Reviewed by: dntmkfnotmelvin on 06/22/2005 🚩
    It's gonna be Joel isn't it? Haha..No, I'm kidding, don't tell me. But you're going to have Benji and Billy in there for a while right? I dunno, I hate it when the problems in strories are solved too quickly. I'm weird and wanna see what David does with 'his pet' haha. But yes, this is very addicting. I wove it. :-)
  • Reviewed by: mmmpie on 06/22/2005 🚩
    i really like the more human side of david that's coming out, it's an interesting developement in the story. can't wait for more, you've got me hooked ! -Donna-
  • Reviewed by: MestUpV on 06/22/2005 🚩
    Oooo, wow, kewl chap (i know, will i ever think of anything more original to say...prolly not)
  • Reviewed by: Phyre on 06/22/2005 🚩
    David thinks Benji has finally broken, but I think it's David who has been broken. Ha. This is a really good chapter. Can't wait for the next! :D

    Author's Response: But is Benji tricking David? Actually he isn't, but someone important dies, and it isn't Benji
  • Reviewed by: Blkhrtedtomb_27 on 06/22/2005 🚩
    this is awesome...for ur first one its great....update soon, i want to see how it goes...oh and bonus points for the vampire thing

    Author's Response: It ain't my first, but it's my best. My other ones dont compare, apart from First Cut Is The Deepest, I cried when i wrote that. I glad to hear you're enjoying this
  • Reviewed by: random_hero on 06/22/2005 🚩
    omfg! i looooooove this story! every morning i wake up and hit most recent to find this story. its addicting.....i love it!

    Author's Response: I glad you find this a good way to start your day. Its ironic that I submit it before i go to bed
  • Reviewed by: freak on 06/22/2005 🚩
    aww, now i'm all worried about benji and billy.dont kill them, pwease. update update update update update.

    Author's Response: I wasn't going to kill them, someone else is going to die, not Benji or Billy, though
  • Reviewed by: dntmkfnotmelvin on 06/22/2005 🚩
    Haha, I could help but whispering precious throughout this, dear god, i'm a dork. I love how you update this constantly. I'm growing to like this more and more. And is David going to go all soft? Nooo, No softie David, you should make him have like a psychotic side, lol.

    Author's Response: Wow! You posted that twice. Im honored
  • Reviewed by: dntmkfnotmelvin on 06/22/2005 🚩
    Haha, I could help but whispering precious throughout this, dear god, i'm a dork. I love how you update this constantly. I'm growing to like this more and more. And is David going to go all soft? Nooo, No softie David, you should make him have like a psychotic side, lol.

    Author's Response: Well having David as a softy, at least gives off the hope that Benji and Billy may escape. David's going soft for a reason
  • Reviewed by: MestUpV on 06/21/2005 🚩
    Ohhhh....intense chap, cant wait for more!

    Author's Response: Well good news, next chapter (maybe next two, see how i feel) should be up tonight.

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